You made me cry and you don't even care
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
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I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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