never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
