This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
