whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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