Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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