and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
