Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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