I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
