We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize