Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
