So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize