I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize