what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
