I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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