Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We just shotgunned beers for America
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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