4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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