I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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