I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
