yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
