You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
