we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
