high people should be assigned attendants
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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