youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
