Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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