At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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