Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
