20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
