I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
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I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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