"it" just moved
Why is your signature on my underwear?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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