There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Randomize
