No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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