i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize