If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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