I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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