i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
