look no pants
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
