kristin has been a bad kristin
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
