Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
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She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
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I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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