I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
