Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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