where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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