I think i peed on brittanys purse
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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