Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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