ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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