I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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