Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize