i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
