tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my poor anus
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
