is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
high people should be assigned attendants
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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