I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
