I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
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look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
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As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later