She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag