I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
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I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
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Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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