the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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