Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
