Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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