people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
