THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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