like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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