Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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