so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
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it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
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And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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