Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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