Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
